Dear Abby...Dear partner what do I do?-Internation

Thanks for making it international! That is great! :) I will post my question closer to the sign up deadline and think it through! yay!

Dear Abby... Here is my question. I am a Mom of 4 children. I have two teen daughters one 13 and one 16. My question involves the 13 year old. I am petite and my daughter who is 16 is very thin and about an inch shorter than me. My 13 year old recently grew to be an inch taller than me (two in. taller than her sister) and weighs more than either of us. I think she looks proportionate since she is taller (as when I was her age-I was way too thin and super short-I would have loved to look like her). She has always been proud that she is taller than her mom. She also thought it was funny that the last time we went to buy jeans, we ended up buying the same pair and the same size. So now here is the problem...this last week she gained a little more weight and all of her jeans were too tight. She asked to borrow something from her sister or me, and realized our stuff was smaller or the same size and too tight (her sister wears clothing a size or two smaller than her) so she was completely bummed. She is now very concerned that she is not only taller than both of us, but getting bigger than me and her sister. I have talked to her about it, letting her know that no matter what size or differences any of my kids have, I love them and think they are beautifult, but that I want them to be happy with who they are and how they look. We talked about what would make her happy and she says she feels like she is getting too big. I think she looks fine, but I know it bothers her. I worry though with her love of sweets, that she doesn't like to exercise much other than riding her bike and that her biological dad's family has genetics of being heavier (she is adopted by my current husband), that she may keep gaining weight and won't like how she looks. I want to know how can I support her in letting her know she is beautiful no matter what, but also help her to like how she looks?

Signed-Concerned Mom of a beautiful girl

Dear Abby, I have a question. Is it too late to start studies? Because I am really starting to think so.

So here is the story: Here I am, high school graduate, at least that. I spent one year abroad after graduation. Some call it mind-boarding, I call i spending time with my boyfriend aka a break from the long distance. That year passed by way too quickly, I did gain a lot, I grew up, I learned another language. Fine. Back home I start an apprenticeship, one I never liked, but I pulled it through, best grades possible. Once my contract ended I moved over there to my boyfriend, now fiance. I did a course, became a travel agent. Thanks to the economy, no job in that field. So I started a ob in a restaurant. Loved it. Worked myself up to be assistant manager. I L-O-V-E-D it. It may not have been fancy, but it made me happy. Cutting it short, they closed the store down, too high rent, not hitting the quota, yabba yabba yabba. I directly found another job, but I am not happy with it. NO love, no feeling of being at home. Simply work. Not satisfying. So, here is my problem. I turned 26. Freaking 26. That might sound young to you, but to me it sounds as old as the world. Why? I feel like I can not start over AGAIN. The first job I had was not my cup of tea. The second job had no future, thanks Mr. Economy, the third job I loved, but economy took it from me. So yeah, I feel like a loser. Not being able to keep a job, being it my fault or not. So, dear Abby, don't you think at that age I should have achieved something? Something stable? I am wondering, should I go back to university? Back to school?I could continue the job I don't like be on the save side, or I could try to do something with a future.

What shall I do?

Girl-who-wants-to-love-her-job

Dear Abby At the rather late age of 42 I suddenly realised that my chance of having a child was rapidly running out. I've never found a partner so have emabarked on this endeavour on my own with a fertility clinic. I wanted to give myself the best chance and knew that being overweight by about 70 - 80 pounds meant that I had a high likelihood of either not conceiving or of miscarrying. I also read a few books from the library, one of which was about the success of chinese medicine in treating fertility so I am taking herbal concoctions and on a high-protein diet recommended by the Chinese Dr to drop the kilos. The only thing I am having trouble with is the lack of exercise. I do yoga at work twice a week but other than that nothing. I have always had a bad self image and not really enjoyed being in my body so have always struggled with exercise. Yoga is the only exercise I've really enjoyed. I am worried that if I push through the resistance and do extra exercise I am going to cause myself a lot of stress that will also impact on my fertility but also worried that I'm not doing enough. I am losing about 2 pounds (half a kilo) a week, Should I be satisfied with the loss I am getting with mostly just the diet or should I be pushing harder? The fertility Dr said she'd be happy with 20 kilos lost in six months (about 40 pounds) and I'm on track for that.

Another struggle with this journey is that there are a lot of pregnant women at work who sit near me (3!). Every time I try and join in a conversation with them they treat my opinions as second rate. Kind of like I'm not in the club yet so I don't know anything. Are they right in their attitude and I should wait and chat with pregnant women when I am actually a full club member or are my hurt feelings reasonable? They know I'm on the waiting list at the clinic. At the moment I am avoiding them but I am worried that this looks like sour grapes and jealousy rather than the hurt I am actually feeling.

Thanks for your advice in advance Abby.

Dear Abby: How are you? :) Wow...um.
I am a single mom with one of my children living with me and the other living with their dad. I am only 27 years old. I am going through a LOT right now. I am trying to look for a job but I just don't have the confidence so I don't get out much. I don't know how to get over that.

Also I could use some parenting advice! Me and my son have been through SOOO much! I have been abused literally in every way possible and my 10 year old has seen it all. (Most of it) We have kind of gotten over the abuse and things that he has seen. He is a great kid! He is in 4th grade and ever since 3rd grade has read at a grade level of 12.2 which means he reads at the level of a 12th grader in the 2nd month of school. He gets straight A's for the most part...once in awhile he gets a B but that's just because he isn't paying attention. Well he is starting to get an attitude again. He will show his butt SO bad for attention and I don't understand why! I mean I am not dumb but I try to spend time with him, watch a tv show or whatever he wants to do but I don't have any money and when I do try to do things like go to the library with him or something then he still shows his butt so I feel like it's a losing battle!

Also...I love to journal but I usually just write about what is going on in my life. Now I am hearing of other journals like theme a day and all different kinds and at school we have to do one for my group processes class and it's like our thoughts and feelings from the class. I dunno. I guess I need ideas.

Also I keep getting pen pals and it's fun but I am horrible at first letters. What do you say or not say? What should you ask or not ask? I am kind of an open book and not sure if that is appropriate or ???

Last thing...I would like to say that I am SO excited for this swap because I go to school for Human Services so to get some real experience is awesome! So THANKS!

P.S. Dating advice would be great. I have never really put myself out there to date. I usually meet my boyfriends through friends and so it's all mutual we start hanging out. I have never been on a date. I don't even know IF I should date. No one ever taught me these things!