i'd join this swap if...newbie friendly

i'd join this swap if i hadn't stolen it from 2 other people before me

I would join this swap if...I could only find those bleeping glasses (on top off my head) so I could see the bloody phone; I keep moving it further away but the little blurry dots just get smaller!

You could make this swap better by adding an ugly photo.

I'd join this swap if I didn't have to make some lame excuse for not join ! But never the less I guess I might join ! I'll think about it for awhile !

@craftygolfer is this ugly enough?

I'd join this swap if I didn't need to change my undies after seeing the swap photo.

I'd join this swap if people posted more cute pictures and not scary pictures.

I would join this swap if...all 5s came with a cash prize!

You could make this swap better if....in lieu of a cash prize, all 5s came with a box of kittens!

I would join this swap if you would all adopt a homeless kitten.

I'd join this swap if I didn't have a life.
Oh wait... I don't.

I'd join this swap if the host didn't like corn dogs !

I'd join this swap if I wasn't busy helping Kenda solve homicides.....#IDAddict And if I knew how to use hashtags.....???

I'd join this swap if sherlock finally came back for a 4th season

I'd join this swap it the voices in my head would finally agree on something!

i'd join this swap if i wasn't so busy helping my doxie study for his test!

I'd join this swap if you changed the location to Liechtenstein only.

Golden retrievers with party hats always make swaps better, i'm willing to take a golden everyday...

I would join this swap if you folks could come up with some better comments. Get your snark on folks.

I'd join this swap if I could only stop chasing the squirrels around the yard ... They keep stealing the nuts...

I'd join this swap if only I could concentrate and not get distract ... oh look! A squirrel!

I'd join this swap only if I you made it for fairies and vampires only

I'd join this swap if it wasn't open to newbies. New people smell funny. They have that cheery, optimistic, just joined brand new gotta love me smell..

I'd join this swap but why? What's the point? What's the meaning of this swap, of life and more importantly what's the meaning of Trumps comb over?

I'd join this swap if you quit making fun mine and trumps comb over ! We can't help if hair won't grow on top too ! Come on people give us bald people a break !

marco

i'd join this swap, but

Id join this swap if you would take my brothers picture of his girlfriend off of here.

Polo

I will join this swap if someone will pay my postage for me. Go fund me.
Yes, newbies do smell funny and are all excited and perky.

Where are the swaps for Vampires and Fairies?

Could someone walk my dog for me too?

I'd join this swap if it got me the next edition of the spideypool comic

i'd join this swap if e-mailing internationally was cheap

i'd join this swap if there were rainbow farting unicorns

I'd join this swap if me speak english, yo solo hablo español y así no entiendo

I'd join this swap if it was for 3 partners, not 5, and mailed, not emailed. And had a completely different premise. And wasn't silly.

i'd join this swap if my mom got my chocolates...

I have been waiting for the rainbow farting unicorns. THANKS!

I would join this swap if there were some flying monkeys.

i'd join this swap, but my cat ate the computer mouse

I'd join this swap if it the host would drop everyone except herself and me.....

i'd join this swap only if spring would show up (weather wise). it's the 1st day of spring...act like it

It was 91 Degrees F, here today.

I would join this swap if the weather would cool off

i'd join this swap if this swap wasn't recycled

I'd join this swap but I'm allergic to nuts and clearly this swap is full of them.

I'd join this swap if I would have someone tell me what the heck is flaking!

flaking is when paint doesnt adhere to the surface. Silly!

I am only allergic to Walnuts, most of these nuts in this swap, seem to be cracked nuts.

I'd join this swap if it wasn't so restrictive with the "only one sarcastic comment" allowed... I clearly cannot contain my sarcasm to just one comment...if it wasn't for that rule, I'd join this swap.

Wait we are only allowed one sarcastic comment? I am way over the limit. I better not get rated a 3!

i'd join this swap, but...they're coming to take me away, haha, there're coming to take me away, haha, they're coming...OH SHIT, they're here, hide me

i'd join this swap as soon as my cat learns to operate one of these...

i'd join this swap if i could stop ROTFL over Draco's comments :)

marco

Polo

What can you do to make this swap better for me to join...well I will tell you what you could do!!! You could make everything gleam with !!

Because this Diva has to have her :P

i'd join this swap, but it seems too boring

Oh Draco, you better spice things up for us. Please!!!1

I'd join this swap, but this is my week to feed the pigs, and I don't have time!

I'd join this swap if you limited it to people with 10.0 rating and 1 billion type 3 swaps.

Id join this swap But people are assholes lol

I'd still join it but... I've been called an asshole before

hmmmmmm........

I'd join this swap, but Netflix is calling me

i'd join, but my day started off with something like this...

omg that would be horrible!!!

i'd join, but i'm on my way to a willie nelson concert...

Are you sure you were not headed to a Jimmy Buffet concert? AND wait those garlic things can really fit in a Keurig?

I'd join this swap if I wasn't a cat trapped in a human's body.

i'd join this swap, but...

Mellrose and Draco, I laughed so hard I peed my socks.

I'd join this swap, if my dog could join, too. She has a sparkling wit and uses good grammar. She curses a lot, though.

I'd join this swap if my FitBit counted keystrokes as calories consumed AND steps taken!

I posted a comment, is there anything else I need to do?

I''d join this swap if I could just figure out what "snarky" means.

thepinkaholic, I will do a private swap with your dog, as long as she will trade with my cat.

The Swap lover. Hey your comment on 3/30 was actually a tad big more funny than your netflix comment. Kudos!

Wait, fit bit DOESNT count all this finger exercise!?!?!??! why not? sometimes I even get a hand cramp. Protest time!

I'd join this swap if there was a point to it.

I think this swap needs more vampires and unicorns.

I'd join this swap if ...it were raining notecards and stationary!

I would join this swap if I could get washi tape from everyone joining!

I would join this swap except I can't send on time because my aunt's sister's best friend's dad's cousin's cat sharted and now I am in mourning while I clean up the wall it sprayed on. It is just impossible for me to complete this swap on time because I am so sad.

I'd join this swap if there were more vampire unicorns raining notecards and stationary and washi tape, and if crochetjunkie's aunt's sister's best friend's dad's cousin's cat hadn't sharted all over my dreams of seeing a vampire unicorn.

i'd join, but my dog can't seem to find the cat

marco

I would join this swap if I hadn't locked eyes with a squirrel and fallen in love.

I'd join this swap if there was a picture of a Pangolin in it somewhere. Pangolins are sweet, gentle creatures, if you ignore their full body armor of sharp pointy scales! Even big cats don't mess with them.

poll-low.

I'd join this swap if it were an April Fool's day joke. And if somebody like me had NOT posted a pangolin picture.

Watching. ...with my eyes closed......

I'd join this swap if it wasn't so complicated with too many restrictions and my partner didn't flake on rating me after I honored all the rules.

I'd join this swap if everyone I've every met in my life would send me chocolate. I mean really people show some love.

I'd join this swap if I wasn't such newbie... :)

I like this Pangolin Picture Better! ]

Come to think of it, I'd join this swap it I could go just one hour without having to the the words: donald trump.

I'd join this swap if it didn't require me to think up something funny. Think... and be funny? What's next walk and chew gum?

I think you could make this swap better if I had friends in low places, and I could come in like a wreaking ball!!!

@starmouse

I would join this swap if I weren't afraid of the number 7.

(Why am I afraid of the number seven? Because seven ate nine.)

You could use better punctuation and grammer.... ;)

When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning", I sleep till noon, coz I'm a problem solver.

I'd join this swap had y'all not already stole all my ideas:)

i'd join this swap as soon as the weather makes up its mind. this week's temps/weather was...

Glitter has not been banned. I would join this swap if glitter hadn't already contaminated it.

I'd join this swap if it didn't come with a side dish of Saccharin Coated Angel Flakes (of corn!!!).

Id join this swap if I had more time to prepare. The deadline is nigh and I havent had enough time to study up for this swap.

Do you think it would be considered funny if on Aprils fools day We all rated all our partners a 3 for this swap? I bet NOT!!! Buttttt the thought did cross my buttocks!!!! I wont, promise.

Oh wait you cant rate a 3 for 2 weeks after send my date. Darn!!! Ok the thought was funny in my head.

i'd join this swap if i hadn't assed the artners

The pics lol lol

Can you imagine getting FIVE 1s because you didnt post a Snarky Remark? Well, I have looked and looked and one of my partners to rate, doesnt appear to have posted any remarks. Why?

I would have joined this swap if only OMG I could get my snarky comment angeled, if my partner doesnt post!!!! I hope this host is going to be able to angel this swap. I want my snarky comment, all 5 of them.

Great swap DRACO!!

@AZmom875 ...same boat. One of mine hasn't posted any remarks either. While I wouldn't normally join this swap....I would have joined if all of my partners played along and I didn't have to give out a 1.

well here is another odd one, the partners that I was assigned are NOT the partners that it let me leave ratings and hearts for! So I rated what it allowed me, and they all left great comments. Glitch??

@LakeGirl ..same for me...so I just went with it.

Yeah me too @LakeGirl and @emilleeann =/

@draco I'm fairly new to swapbot so not sure if it's a glitch or error on your side but my assigned partners and the partners I am able to rate are different. I just don't want to rate the ones I am able too but then my assigned partners miss out on a rating?

Just worked it out. In a "normal" swap (and there's definitely nothing normal in this one! lol), you would be sending to one set and a different set would rate you, so you can ignore the "partners you send to" - if I'm wrong - feel free to correct me.

I'd join if it wasn't due on a day with "day" in the name....

i'd join this swap, but when i went to make my morning coffee, i found this...

It is very normal to get different partners to send to than the partners you receive from. Very typical. The partners are assigned by at BOT, a robotic algorithm, The swap host just clicks and button and the BOT does it job. Hence the name Swap-BOT.

The system will only allow you to rate the players listed. Dont worry it makes more sense with a snail mail swap.

BTW, this isnt not a snarky post. So it is true stuff.

Hey @tarinaaa and @LakeGirl and @emilleeann -- what happened is totally normal. Except in private swaps, we always send to one set of partners and rate another. But even so, it threw me for a loop at first as well, and I've been here for (mumbledy mumble) years!

@AZmom875 we might have a partner in common, because one of mine hasn't posted here either! And seriously, who is going to angel that? Then again, draco and others have posted multiple snarky remarks, so maybe it's pre-angeled??

I'd join this swap if I weren't recovering from a heart problem I experienced a few days ago, and really tired. Oh, wait, that part's true...and posting snarky remarks the day of the swap still counts as posting. I think. Let me consult the rules of snark. :)

Anyhow, I misread the instructions on this one and was going and leaving individual comments and graphics on all my partners' profiles. Glad I re-read halfway through. I'd join this swap if I were better at not making more work for myself.

I'd join this swap, but I got sucked into watching marathons of The Real Housewives Of Swap-Bot, and had to flip over a table before pulling my friend's wig off and making passive aggressive comments.

EXCELLENT!

please don't forget to rate