I would join this swap if... Round 5!

Any negative comments about the Eyebrow Dog will get you booted from this swap. You can make all the negative comments about me you want, but leave the dog alone. He's just a surprised-looking dog trying to find his way in this cruel world...

When I saw him, he looked at me like he was thinking, "Hey, her owner drew eyebrows on her, too!"

I would join this swap if you had used a cat with eyebrows... I only do cat swaps =)~

I would join this swap IF... The photo was of a baby monkey wearing an orange party hat, holding 3 balloons, wearing blue boots and eating a piece of cake. Or maybe if the dog was sticking his tongue out, Hum i am undecided. Also maybe you could make a list of like 20 things we SHOULDN'T do in the swap(I saw that on here, OMG seriously?) LOL

I would join this swap if it were better timed. Please delay the swap until September. It is messing with my summer plans.

I don't have any cats or monkeys... will my moustache cupcakes do?

Could you please make a USA only swap? I know you live in Canada but I only join USA electronic swaps.

Could you make it NJ only? Canadians scare me.

Oh wait, this is electronic? Then I can't join. I don't have electricity. Could you do one snail mail?

We're a scary lot. But, being Canadian, we also apologize for our scariness. So, sorry.

And another thing; why were there no blonde moustaches? Blondes need cookie lovin' too, ya know. Bet the eyebrow dog would agree if he could swap. Bet he wants to. We should ask him.

Honestly -I would join this swap if you didn't already have a double profiler in it. SHIT.

I would join this swap if it weren't international, cause long distance internet charges are expensive!!! Make it a USA only swap and then I'll join. It's so much cheaper to email within the states.

Okay, now that that's handled, I would join this swap if we didn't have to rate our partners. WHY do we have to rate people??!

i joined this swap even though i'm planning on flaking on it

if anyone brings up unicorns farting rainbows again, i'll be so out of here

I'll join, but only for $100 bills. Lots of them. Delivered to me by rainbow farting unicorns. Yeah. That's the swap for me, baby!

Unicorns farting rainbows are messing with my summer plans.

Also- somebody left me a soiled, used, smoky comment covered in cat hair the last time you did this swap. At least I hope that was cat hair.... I asked for only new comments. That comment was so bad that it went right in the garbage bin. Please only new comments this time. No Dollar Store comments. No kawaii comments.

i would join this swap but my demon cat farted

OMG this is so funny! I would join this swap if I weren't too busy reading all the comments people made!

I would join this swap, but there are too many swap requirements.

I would join this swap if I could mail it in a rubber stamped envelope decorated with washi tape, labeled with handmade return address label, with a bag of FBs, SLAMs,,, and some other acronyms, three sticker books, a sticker bag, and a blank journal full of prompts... and only if it was a North American only swap--my computer is a little slow and can't send out these stuffed e-mails too far, fast enough to make the deadline.

I would join this swap if I could just send a sticker slapped atc instead of whatever else you're asking. Gosh.

I would join this swap, but there aren't enough swap requirements.

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I would join this swap if I could be assured in writing that no one will send me anything pink.

Could you explain to me again what size this swap is supposed to be? The last time I did a swap like this some one sent it a 1/16th of an inch too small and the time before that they sent is 1/32nd of an inch too big. I know because I took out my ruler and measured it. So I just want to be clear on how big it's supposed to be because it's a big pet peeve of mine when the swap is not exactly the right size down to the fraction of an inch. I will only join this swap if everyone agrees to stay exactly within the right dimensions and that they take out their ruler and measure before sending. Better yet, let's agree so send a picture of this swap beside the ruler to prove that you measured before sending.

I would join this swap if I was able to get internet access on this deserted island where I am stranded. I have no idea when I'll be back so could you please change the last day to signup/drop to sometime in 2028?

I would love to join this swap if it were vintage. Vintage is the way to go and it shouldn't be cutesy. Too many people do not like cutesy. If you get me as a swap partner then I would like vintage comments only please. Unless of course it's a cute vintage comment. Then cutesy would be all right. Except, no Tinker Bell and no 101 Dalmatians. Or clowns. Clowns scare too many people. Even vintage clowns can be scary. So, yeah.... no vintage clowns please.

I would join this swap if you only send me animals with clothes on. Didn't you read my profile? It said in all bold print capital letters NO NUDE PHOTOS. Now cover up that dog and unicorn and I will join!

P.S. Your hand is naked too, that needs covered up as well

I would join this swap if ALL the following conditions are met: 1) the 3 swaps that I just did get rated (5) and I am then allowed to join. 2) you all change your comments to un-funny things so that my stomach doesn't hurt from laughing so hard. 3) someone sends me air freshener to get rid of the unicorn fart smell. 4) I will think of more later and then complain cuz I have nothing else to do and am a control freak!

I would join this swap if the guidelines were a bit more clear. I don't understand why it has to be international either. If I have to send something all the way to another country, I won't like that. The postage will be way too high. But, I might just wait until partners are assigned, then whine when I get an international partner.

I would join this swap if you made the rating a bit higher. 4.97 is a 1 in 133 chance of getting flaked on and that's not a risk I'm willing to take. Could you make it 0.05 higher and require a minimum of 5.02, please? That would make me more comfortable.

But first lower the rating to 4.02 so that I can join. You're not going to hold my 17 1's against me, are you? Then lift it up to 5.02. Thanks!

I would join this swap if the host hadn't dropped a control-F-bomb in description! Really, the manners of hosts nowadays!

I would join if I understood what you all are saying. I live in Sweden you know, so please translate it all to Swedish !!

I would join this swap, but you explained it so badly so I don't understand ANYTHING. Besides, seriously, English? ENGLISH? It isn't even a LANGUAGE. I demand this description to be written in Polish, or at least Swahili, so that you are fair towards the participants and everyone understands perfectly. Polski to język światowy, duh.

Also. I do NOT enter electronic swaps. They are boring and impersonal, block my creative soul (and I can't include catchy extra gifts) so that I have less of a chance to get a heart (did you hear me?!!! I MIGHT NOT GET A HEART. And my perfect reputation will be DESTROYED because of a stupid, valueless 5 with NO HEART). What's with that deadline, by the way?! Two days, are you insane? Do you know how much time writing such a comment takes? Also, don't you have private life? I do. And it's certainly more important than Swap-bot. When do you think I'm supposed to prepare this swap? I am not going to resign from my daily seance of Wizards of Waverly Place just because you are a lonely little pigfart with no social life WHO ADDITIONALLY CAN'T COOK.

Besides, I checked all the previous swaps from this series to make sure it is safe and noticed that the hostess enjoys Jesus Christ Superstar. I will certainly not trust anyone who's so ignorant not to know that Cats is a better example of a Webber's musical. Such people are worthless as swap hosts and have no chances to cope with my expectations.

I'd join this swap but I'm just not creative enough. Another problem - you guys don't know Arabic and i'm sure I'd get a ton of hate mail just for using it! Even if I'm saying: حيدات فارتينج قوس قزح هي مجرد مضحك جدا! (translation: vintage clowns and rainbow farting unicorns are funny!)

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I would join if it was clarified whether we have to post five individual comments (one for each of our partners) or whether one comment will count for all five of them.

Also, the header says we will have "5" partners but the written description says we will have "five" partners. Make up your mind, please.

And finally, you've got the swap type wrong -- it should be type 3 because of the creativity involved. And because comments aren't flat.

Marco

I would join this swap if the host hadn't lied in the description. She said "50000 swappers write what they would do to make the swap better". No swap ever had 50000 swappers writing comments. I've never seen one with more than 49978 swappers writing, and if there had been more I'd have known about it as I read every swap in detail. I don't think she should be allowed to lie about important issues like that - the admins should delete this swap unless she removes her lies!!!

whoever was complaining about nude animals, are these dressed enough for your likeness?

polo

I'd join this swap if it wasn't an ATC swap. I'm not into making ATCs, but the theme is cool. Can't you do a postcard swap? But not one to send postcards with a stamp. I need them sent naked in an envelope. Oh and don't make it international because I can only afford to send within the US.

I would join this swap if you would change it to CANADA ONLY. That would give me an excuse to move there because it is too darn hot here. I know Canada still has snow so it will be a lot cooler than where I currently live. If you do make it CANADA ONLY, which I know you will because otherwise I won't give you a star, then you have to change the signup/drop date to after I sell my house because I can't move to Canada until after I sell it, ya know. Thanks, eh!

You didn't say what the ATC should be made of. Is it OK if I make my ATC by dripping food colouring on an ATC-sized rectangle of sugar and then pour the sugar into an envelope?

Oh, by the way, whoever sends to me had better not use real stamps on the envelope. I only collect those machine-printed postage labels.

And the washi tape you use to decorate the envelope has to be imported from Japan as my postman is allergic to US-made tape. (You are going to decorate the envelope with tape, aren't you?)

Draco, I only approve of the fully-covered-only face showing- dogs. There are too many thighs showing and you can almost see what's beneath the clothing. Remove the picture and I might think about joining this swap! You know the swap can't go on without me being in it. Sincerely, The only swapper that matters

You did not tell us when to give our partners hearts. Should we give a heart if our partner mentions unicorns?

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

If I see any recycled comments, I will boot. I've got my swapper bootin' boots on, and I'm not afraid to get bootin'. Same with handmade comments, or naked comments. All comments must be in a stamped envelope.

I was thinking about joining this swap, but then I saw all these comments! Seriously people, leave @Jaichan alone! I would hate to get any of these complainers as a partner.

Also please change the send date to June 31 because that is the only day I can get to the post office this month. I live in a town of 300 people and we have to travel through Canadian July blizzards, for two hours, uphill both ways, on a grizzly bear (our national bird) to get to the post office.

როგორ შევაფასო თუ მივიღებ კომენტარი, რომ ჰგავს მას გააკეთა ვიღაცამ, გარდა ჩემი პარტნიორი? არსებობს წესი შესახებ შევცვალე რეციკლირებული კომენტარი?

હું તેને મારા જીવનસાથી કરતાં અન્ય કોઈને દ્વારા કરવામાં આવી હતી જેવી લાગે છે કે એક ટિપ્પણી વિચાર જો હું કેવી રીતે રેટ નથી? રિસાયકલ ટિપ્પણીઓ અદલાબદલી વિશે એક નિયમ છે?

I would join this swap but you didn't make it one person from each country and gosh darn it out of the 100+ people that end up signing up depending on how long you keep changing the sign up by date to add more swappers and be one of the top swaps you might actually get stuck with a touristy card from Hawaii by the slimmest of margins which would be the worst thing in the world. Or I might get a partner Internationally that would cost me $1.10 in postage, take 56 days to reach there and they may never rate me or it will get lost on some deserted island and become a makeshift house for some exotic animal that takes refuge under it. Or I might give you as a hostess a star but the next time you joined my swap you would just totally ignore the question about if the host did anything special to deserve a star and even if I emailed you, followed up with your partner because you contacted me to say they never mailed you anything and commented a sparkly thank you on your profile for signing up I still have not warranted the one click of a button that might ruin your universe. And finally I refuse to join because I might have just taken the time out to read my 5 partners profiles, selected something that they clearly state in their profile that they like even though it specifically says senders choice, decorated it with stickers of their likes, wrote about something that excites them and they may still feel that I don't deserve the other easily clicked button of adding a heart that is sure not costing them anything to add and if anything would fancy up their rating and then you get the swap they sent you because they were assigned you as a partner also and it looks like they closed their eyes, selected one.. (does not matter if it is in your dislike extremely, will give kids nightmares don't send warnings) wrote the same thing they wrote to you last week for another swap and sent it to you and then get totally pissed that they didn't get their well deserved heart.. So I will close with saying.. Thats it.. thats why I am not joining.. Unless ofcourse you are nice enough to change all of what I have brought up =o) Have a nice day... ps.. why is it not usa only again? LOL

Oh, and I also have an issue with your narrow interpretation of a Type 1 swap. It's ELECTRONIC, which could mean anything, not just a comment. I demand that my partners call me on the phone. I don't care if they're on the other side of the world and it costs a month's rent, that is their problem.

There are just SO many issues here. Once the host gets around to fixing these things maybe I'll consider joining.

I would join this swap if there weren't so many gosh dang comments that I had to read through to get to my partners comment just so that I can rate them! Seriously do you think that I have nothing better to do than to sit in front of my computer with a Coke and take out Chinese and read posts? Come on! Some of us have a life. oh... well..... obviously about 21 of us don't have one because that's how many have signed up for this stupid swap so far!

Marco

Polo

I would join this swap if comments had "like" buttons under them but since they don't, I'm not going to waste my time. And besides I think this swap is getting a little too expensive for me. Also since the dog's eyebrows look better than mine ever have and all these farting unicorns are starting to stink up the place, I'm outta here.

For those who like the unicorn fart smell. And those of us who don't, just won't get close to you.

Auch Ich liebe Deutsch und wollen dieser zu sein im Deutsch lediglich. Oder Ich nicht beitreten. Nein Englisch!

I would join this swap if it were hosted by someone else. I can't join a swap with a host whose name I don't know how to pronounce! Jay-chan? J-eye-chan? What???

I've been thinking more about how I actually WILL join this swap even though it is international. But do you think you could get someone else to host this particular swap, maybe? I mean, I like you and all, but you have a perfect rating AND you are an Original Member, @Jaichan I think that is unfair and makes other people feel bad. What about people who have less than perfect ratings and are not among the original members. On second thought, this swap seems to exclusive and I won't be joining. I'll probably go complain in the forums about this whole situation. I hope you're happy.

BTW I see that @FlakerMcFlake joined this swap - they're a known flaker and non-rater. You might want to remove them. I at least am not going to join while they're in this swap.

i would join this swap but it's just a waste of my time. please make better swaps in the future, thanks

btw to anyone who sends to me please make sure it is from a smoke free pet free coconut free pineapple free dust free allergen free sugar free meat free house please i am allergic to all of these things mentioned.

I would join this swap if... I was guaranteed to recieve something off my incredibly difficult to satisfy wishlist (which includes several super specific items you probably won't be able to find in your country/state). Thanks! :D

Marco

i would join this swap, but the "marco/polo" crap is getting rather old.

another reason i'm not joining this swap is the fact that the post office gets a little hostle about sending emales through the mail and they're starting to add a $5000.00 surcharge to the non-envelopes. since there are 5 partners to send to, i can't afford to pay $25,000.00 to send this swap out.

also, i think sending unicorn farts through the mail is illegal.

Polo!

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I would join this swap,if I knew what it was for. I must know everything and I just don't see any info about this swap.Gee, I hope it is for my favorite subject.Well, busy filing my nails gotta go.

Stop having fun! I'm at work, making delicious things with strawberries, so I don't have time to play. I insist the madness must stop... at least for the next few hours.

If I hadn't made a previous comment,I would have joined this swap.

I'll join for strawberries. Can we swap strawberries?

I would join this swap if the entire world would join me in banning the use of the color pink!!!! Or if Kim Kardashian would become a nun in a far away monastery never to be seen or heard of again. I might join if the unicorn farted Skittles. And I would definitely join if right became left and left became right so that when I tell someone that something is on the right I don't have to say NO your other right!!!! I would also join if someone hadn't brought up clowns and scared me so that I'm hiding under my bed. I hope that fury thing touching my leg is my cat. Oh wait I don't have a cat. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oh yea I'll join but everyone except the unicorn has to send me chocolate. And NOT the cheap kind. And by the way no chocolate means NO HEART !!!! ............AND hostess lady you have to have Brad Pitt deliver yours to me or NO STAR !!!!

I would join this swap if the rating requirement was lowered. My friend has a 3.8867 rating but she's a GREAT swapper and should be allowed in! Those people who GAVE her bad ratings all had a personal vendetta against her; it's not her fault!

I would join this swap if it were hosted by a FOPS founder and not the founder of the SB Flakers group. Sorry. It's East Coast/West Coast bullshit and I ain't crossing the line.

STRAWBERRIES

Haha, I just signed in one day and learned I had been made a founder of the SB Flakers group! Seriously!

Strawberries. I made a strawberry parfait pie! It was delicious!

i would totally join this swap but i'm not sure that my comment will be as funny or entertaining as everyone else's. if my 5 partners think it's ok for a newbie commenter to join, i'll think about it. for now i'm just watching!

oh, and i have a mac, so that control-f function to search for my partners doesn't work for me. so i guess i cant join after all. bummer, cuz this looked like a lot of fun!

whoever wanted strawberries has to fight this guy for them

i'd join, but my alpaca has fleas and my llama spits

... how did you get that picture of me????

I love this swap so much, but I really want to make a creative journal to send with it. But you see, I can't afford international postage as I live in a cardboard box under a bridge. So, can we skip the part about the package having CLEAN, slightly used extras for hearts? If you get something from me expect it to be dirty as hell - have you ever tried to get a cardboard box under a bridge with running water? It's impossible. Plus, if you get a teabag from me it will not only be be UNWRAPPED, but probably also used twice. Is that ok?

google

i want fries

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

Will the host be angeling this swap for people who do not get comments?

I'm going to decide whether I want to join this swap when I get partners, after I drop and re-add the swap to my dashboard. You see, as I mentioned above, no nude photos. Guess what Draco? You just posted a turtle with his leg showing. In my house we cover legs, all legs, chair and table legs too. Cover those legs and I will join!!

I see some newbies posting here. Are newbies actually allowed? Because I will not join if that is the case. Statistically most newbies are pathological criminals. We all know that realistically newbies shouldn't be allowed to join any swaps until they've completed at least 262 Type-3 swaps (I know that it looks like I don't have that many, but I've been swapping on other sites since I was in elementary school).

But if I do decide to join, you should know that my country has customs regulations against sending electronic comments. So if you are my partner please disguise your comments as a box of chocolate truffles to prevent customs inspection. Or can the swap be modified just for me so that my partners could send something completely different from what this swap is about? Like an orangutan? I think that is of comparable value. But please disguise any orangutans you send me as a poorly drawn birthday card to throw off any mail thieves.

I would join this swap but that turtle said a bad word. Nice fucking manners, turtle.

I would join this swap but I'm still a newbie without any ratings. Could you open the swap to newbies, too? How are we supposed to get ratings if we're never let into any swaps?

I would join this swap if you agreed to angel all the flakers. Also, I am too busy trying to figure out what Ｃｏｌｏｓｓａｌ Ｐｉｌｌａｒ ｏｆ Ｗａｓｐ Ｅｇｇｓ is. Is it a font? A meme? Help!

lolz @VivaLaDiane :)

Oh shoot I forgot to add extra postage for the international swap! Where do you get those George Washington stamps people are always going on about?

I would join this swap but Im scared of getting rated low due to spelling and grammer errors.I rlly knoe how 2 txt spll wtz rong wit dat?

I would join this swap but I cant think of anything funny to say. It seems the other swappers beat me too it. Beside it looks like another person from the USA already joined so I cant join. I do love naked animals though, Hey I am over 21 so there.

I would join this swap if that stupid Dumb A$$ chick who doesnt read the directions; then asks stupid Dumb A$$ questions that would be answered if she would just READ it more than once, hadnt joined already. Besides she is a non rater!

Oh and btw, I would join if you would please send me a Kwanza card with a Non religious holiday stamp that is vintage, the kind you have to lick. See in my house it is offensive to get any other kind of card this time of year. Also all my cards need to be made from 100% Vegan paper.

Seriously Why did you do that to the dog?

I would join but I am offended by that MAC statement. I have a cousin who has a MAC, and she is a very confused person.

Here is what that person said about MAC

kim91262 06/20/2013 #

oh, and i have a mac, so that control-f function to search for my partners doesn't work for me. so i guess i cant join after all. bummer, cuz this looked like a lot of fun!

Umm Seriously, I have to admit I also have a MAC, what in the world is the Control F function? I cant believe you have not explained this to us MAC users well enough. What is it with you non MAC users that you mock us so much? I hosts swaps and I cant even figure out how to make multiple categories for swaps. what they mean by CONTROL +Click. what is CLICK? WHere is CLICK? CLick what?
So I am not joining cause your directions overall are just unclear to me as a MAC user (Ok I joined sshhhhh)

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I'm watching for now..... if this was a regional swap for the Netherlands I'd join immediatly.

I think I will join this swap when I turn 18.

I would join this swap if I could send it in the mail...With mail art and then my partner hold my rating hostage because I did not draw enough stars on the mail art when it was senders choice...

Also where are the cats? I need cats in a swap to join!

Whoever sends to me please do not send it by registered mail - such letters end up at another post office where I have to walk six miles to through the snow, uphill both ways. Just send it through the mail normally. (Our postman sometimes steals mail so you might have to send several times, though. I'll let you know when one of them does arrive.)

Oh, and though the swap says to just post the comments here, make sure you send my comment to me in an envelope since naked comments are much more likely to get stolen by our postman!

BTW, is it OK if I join this swap with all of my profiles?

Or is this swap limited to one profile per person?

I would join this swap if I'd never been flaked on. But it was a really expensive package swap, and it was the host herself who flaked. So now I can't trust anyone. Unless you write a 7,000 word essay on why I should join. Because this swap is going to be really expensive too, and I just can't take the heartache. Also, please send nice clothes. But they positively MUST be woven by blind monks on a mountain top, and made from 100% unicorn hair thread. Must be machine washable. Lastly, an electronic "heart" rating will simply not suffice. I will need you to send me an ACTUAL human heart upon completion of this swap. I know you'll find my requests reasonable, so I will make sure my flying pigs are at the mailbox waiting to receive the human heart. PS- it is quite hot here. Therefor if you are too lazy or cheap to have the heart cryogenicly frozen, you must pack it in dry ice. But the ice must be made from mermaid tears. Thanks, and Happy Swapping! PPS- I only rate 1's. No matter what.

I would join this swap but I really dont have time to read the swap requirements. Who has time to read that????I'll just do what I want and my partners should just rate me and include a heart.

I'm a valued swapper so you can go ahead and rate me 5+heart as soon as partners are assigned. You don't have to wait until you get my swap because trust me, it'll be awesome. If I get around to making+sending it.

i would join but don't feel like dealing with this whole send by date stuff. I mean why are you telling me when I need to send stuff. I will send it when I want to send it!!! Stop being a bully!

I would join this swap if my cat could also. Only he doesn't like dogs do you'll have to delete those. And he says if the that rainbow farting unicorn comes around here he's going to bite him on his rainbow farting A_ _ ..... Bad Kitty he knows we don't say the word fart around here.

I cannot join a swap full of rainbow farting unicorns but i am willing to join if we could add in the burbing frogs from the old budweiser commercials..........Bud - wise - er. They were funny.

I would join this swap but my pink kitty just walked on my keyboard and left some pink cat hair on it so when I hit SEND, the cat hair comes with it free of charge. Also, pink kitty has started smoking (and drinking!) so the comment comes smoke and vodka scented. Luckily, my pink kitty doesn't fart.

Another thing, like PP I've used up my budgeted electronic swaps for the month so I surely can't afford to send an electronic swap this month. So if you change the sign up/drop date to after July 5 because we are going to Canada for the 4th of July because fireworks give pink smoking/drinking kitty panic attacks and, besides, it is snowing in Canada and it will be way cooler than it is where I presently live.

Oh, no! Now pink kitty is sitting on my desk next to my computer heaving...here it comes...like I said, luckily, pink kitty doesn't fart.

Oh, No! Busted!

Pink Kitty after a night on the computer keyboard.

I would join this swap IF it had no requirements ... tired of being told I do not meet the "requirements". I just wanna have fun!

I can't join this swap if people are seniding strawberries - I'm allergic to strawberries!!!! Anyway, they make an awful mess if you try to send them in a bubble envie. I know because my mother once sent me a pomegranate in a flimsy cardboard box and it arrived in a body bag.

I would join this swap if the host hadn't eaten all the strawberry parfait. Seriously, you're the host and you don't even share us. sigh

@helen4102010 wow a naked kitty in an envelope. You best not join or your partner may send you kitty porn.

I would join this swap if I didn't have to be naked for it,someone mentioned naked and i get naked for no one,yes I have 2 children,but I NEVER got naked.

I would join this swap, but there are members joining who have perfect 5.0 ratings, and they must be robots in order to have perfect ratings. I mean, come on, who actually follows the rules all the time?

I would join only if you put a highly restrictive price range on the swap at the last minute. I plan on spending my entire paycheck at the local comment boutique just for this swap, and I think it's only fair that everyone else should too! No crappy Dollar Store comments or Zazzle comments or the like! If I can forgo two weeks of groceries and shelter for this swap when I have student loans and 12 types of illness, and these two babies I just spontaneously birthed, then so can you! Please be considerate!!!

I would join if pink kitty was purple. But it he has to be a blue purple and not a red purple. And purple is a royal color so purple kitty should have a crown also.

@user8179 Pink kitty will be pink until she (not he!) is 5 years old, then she turns a regal purple! She doesn't get her crown until then either.

I'll only join this swap if you could please tell me--why do people do this to their cats?

LMAO!!! I would join this swap if the dog in the picture had lipstick or a nose ring to complement the eyebrows... ROTFL with my feet kicking

I would've joined but the swap host isn't answering any of our questions. That's rude. She should be banned from swapping. But not cooking. Definitely not cooking...

I would join this swap but a few of the swappers scare me, One is a BIOHazard who not only has a scary name, but a scary imagination.

Plus that player with the sounds like she might be a stripper or a pole dancer by her name. missmuffcake, come on what else could she be with a name like that?. Oh dont even try to tell me she bakes. I know it is undercover for a lusty career choice. I might forgive her, that career choice if she knows how to get ahold of the guys in Magic Mike. Or can send me kitty porn BTW I never actually watched Magic Mike, I just saw the cover of the DVD, that was enough for me.

I would join this swap if it was less work and more guarded against flakers. I also don't like the idea of sending outside the USA.

Sometimes, the dog in the picture would be wearing lipstick. No lie! And, his name, translated into English, is... Kitten. I'm not joking!

I have literally been up to my elbows in strawberries these past few days. Oh, and sometimes, it comes back to haunt you if you're a good cook... one of my bosses accidentally ate my lunch today! Ha!

So, I'm in a super-bad mood. Go away, and leave my swap alone.

i would join this swap, but i'm too busy looking for waldo.

when are you going to ass the partners? please give me 72 hours warning so i can make sure i can drop the swap.

@helen4102010 this one's for you

i would join this swap, but i'm allergic to computers and e-mailed comments

POLO

I would join this swap if you made a longer deadline; 2 days is not fair at all.

Also, you should clarify the control-F function. Not everybody is computer savvy like you.

Lastly, this is not profile-based and I prefer profile-based swaps because I'm very picky and I don't like receiving free happy things in my mail if the sender didn't bother to read my intricate profile. Thank you!

I would join this swap but Gee those Nude pumpkins are kinds offensives, and I actually think those pumpkins are underage and being exploited.

I would gladly join this swap but it violates my religion. No can do!

MARCO

@AZmom875 here's your kitty porn *

Polo

i would join only if i'm guaranteed i'd receive a pony, $10,000,000.00, a new computer, and everything else i've ever wanted from EACH partner. and it better be the real stuff, NOT pictures of them.

sorry, gotta go, my cat is trying to escape...

I can't join this I just ordered pizza!

MARCO

I would join this swap but I insist on turquoise yarn in an all orange swap.

...also that eyebrow dog freaks me out a little.

If you could fix all of the spelling and grammatical errors on the swap info AND in the comments, then i will consider joining...

polo.

I would join this swap, but turtles and smoking cats scare me. As do bunnies.

I would join this swap but it is way to expensive!

I would join this swap but my post office is closed most days in june and july, so it takes at least 8 weeks for my mail to get delivered, even though I mailed it out by the deadline...I swear!! Don't read the postmark date, it says I mailed it out 2 weeks late, but didn't you read my profile? my post office was closed for like 2 weeks so when I dropped it off they must have forgotten about it until they reopened 2 weeks later. weird? I know! they said it was something about government cutbacks...

As I finally just got a new animal paw print rubber stamp from Michaels Crafts and no longer this real dog I've been using for my mail art swaps, I would join this swap if you could explain what is a Round 5? How can you be round and a size 5? Please clarify as I'd be happy to not have to clean my floors everytime after I do a mail art swap, I lifterally dip his paws into my ink pad, I don't mind cleaning so much as it's expensive to keep him fed; and with the costss of International postage and all, ..yikes! Just glad I stopped by Michaels when I did. If I can request fish in exchange, dead or alive as alll I need it for is background stamping, that'd go great with my Hero Arts 'anchor' stamp! If I may suggest, dogs are best kept alive because they can run back and forth over the envie for that natural random stamped effect. Ok, thanks!

@kim91262 wel sew wat iff i canna spel two yr licking, arr yo gonna wait mee down fer tat?

I would also maybe join the swap (I can drive to a post office 15 minutes out of my way, I guess. sacrifice and what-not, I THINK they're staying open this summer)... but only if my partner chain smokes in her house. all my mail smells so ordinary lately. I want more stinky mail!!! extra smokey would be nice. and speaking of nice, I will join this swap ONLY if my partner DOESNT send me nice stuff. I have enough nice stuff!! I want a big smokey envelope of the garbage you were just about to throw away right before you read this swap description and changed your mind... "I know, instead of throwing this crap out, i'll swap it. it's not so bad, just dust some of this ash off... like new!" ok those are my requirements. oh and is this international? obviously I will only join if its USA only.

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I would join this swap if I understood /met the rating requirement. I don't understand the need for the requirement when we aren't sending anything. If we were sending something, I would suggest dog farts. Unicorns are endangered, as we all know, but my dog is a champion farter. I'm sure I could bottle some of that gas up into those little bubble bottles (complete with bubble wand), while filtering out any unwanted dog fur. Let me know about the rating thing; I'm watching for now.

I would join this swap if complete strangers sent me lots of money, for some made-up reason, but really so I can go on an around-the-world holiday and buy a big new computer to do crazy swaps like this...

I would join this swap but I am too confused about the requierements. You really should be more specific. And who is going to angel if my partner flakes on me? And what if I flake on the swap - will my partner rate me a 1 - that is really not fair.

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

I would join this swap, but I got this message when I tried to join: 'YOU CANNOT SIGN UP FOR I would join this swap if... Round 5!. YOU HAVE ALREADY JOINED IT ONCE!'

Also, I would prefer to swap with cats only.

I would join this swap only if it involved getting postcards of vintage toilets. Maybe with a cat.

I would love to join this swap but I've already maxed out my dashboard with 20 swaps that are all better than this one.

I'd join this swap but I can't stand reading.....

I would join this swap if it was Type 3. And Regional: Poland only. And if you'd give me a candy. Or two.

I would joining if I wasn't soooo busy NOT joining all these other swaps on here. I just don't think I have the time

I would join this swap but.......I am allergeric to everything,ya'll are making fun of us people with allergies,that ain't right. I took a test and it said I am allergic to everything,really! I want some of those free strawberries,if I get some of them I will join,maybe.

I would also join if the key's on my key board stop moving and causing me to make typos and I could spell

I would join this swap but I have laundry to do.

Can both my profiles join? Are we limited to just one?

Whoa now I really can't join- turtle keeps staring at me! I don't like the way he is looking at me!

and the turtle is naked. i thought it was established earlier that there would be no naked animals in this swap?! that's it, i'm dropping. i find unclothed animals to be very offensive...and i just can't handle all the exposed body parts any longer!

I promise to give all my 10000 partners hearts and 5s. It's all good.

.

.

...

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PS- I think people who join electronic swaps are only looking for quick and easy ratings. Electronic swaps should be banned on swapbot.

PSS- A suspicious swapper has joined. As the hostess you should take responsibility and ban her, for our protection. I won't join if you let her stay.

i would join this swap, but my cat just puked on the keyboard and i also can't stand all the complaints about the most piddly crap

I would join this swap but my pizza is cooked and I'm watching a goofy DVD.

Yikes. This swap is wayyyyyy toooo stressful. I could only join if I could host the same exact thing word for word.

@kerril25 Now will you please join?

@Littletiscrafty I know what you mean, I have to do laundry today, too, and after that I have to alphabetize my sock drawer.

I would join except that its summer in Texas and everything melts....What if my comment melted in transit? Then it would mess up my perfect score!

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

Marco

I would join this swap if the cow jumped over the moon and the dish ran away with the spoon. But since diddle diddle dumplin, john went to bed with his stockings on and jack was so quick to jump over that candle stick, I really don't think it's worth all the effort.

Polo.

I would join except for the fact that most of the people here are obviously part of some super secret Swap-bot cult, like if the Illuminati was run by people with serious ATC and postcard addictions. The excessive animal nudity and all the arcane references to unicorn farts are really disturbing. It is too bad that this swap had to be taken over by these creeps since it sounded really good, and I have an extra-special comment wrapped in chocolate and hundred dollar bills that has been sitting on my desk for months waiting to be addressed just in case someone happened to make a swap exactly like this one. But now I guess I will just have to keep it for myself :(

Could we make it so everyone has 20 partners instead of just 5? Then we get more ratings.

Also, not more than one homer comment in the comment bags you send me, please.

knock knock

recycling is a good thing twobluecrows. I would join this swap if some one paid me, no wait I joined earlier

Who's there?

I'd join except I might get chocolate which would melt in the heat because even though I live in Canada it is NOT cold here. You Americans know nothing about world geography! It is damn hot. Now some people can't join because someone left profanity in the comments. Bloody hell! I also can't join because I might get something religious in the mail. Please don't send me anything religious. Or orange or emerald green. These are clearly on my profile. Also some people are excluded. Instead of international it should be galactic. Since it isn't, I can't join. Bummer! Change all that or make rules about it and I will join!

I would join, but too many of the people in this swap are suspicous. Anyone with less than 100 type 3 swaps cannot be trusted. I also don't think I can afford an international swap. How you seen the exchange rate these days?

I am just busy watching a marathon of the housewives of Orange County and I just cannot remove myself from the tv in order to handle this swap!

• I would join this swap if people would stop thinking there's a swap-bot cult. Geez we're not letting in any more members.

To join this swap I would change the requirements. Have everyone post in white font, all flakers have to start their sentence with "I'm a flake thank you!", All others post "I'm really doing this to get a heart" But LMAO!!! I won't join this swap cause the dog in the picture don't have lipstick or a nose ring to complement the eyebrows... ROTFL with my feet kicking. You Jaichan, suck as a host cause you didn't tell Apple MAC users to press command F to find their partners. You didn't include newbies. Newbies can't have a 4.95. But you allowed flakes. You didn't let me know of the previous series of this swap and you talked about me behind my back and in front my face electronically. There... YOU SUCK and so does this swap!!! Well, Like I said in white font "I'm in it for a heart!!!" Hope you can't see that cause I posted in white font :))))))

I would join this swap but PNE made me laugh so hard I peed my pants. pne 06/22/2013 #

"I would love to join this swap but I've already maxed out my dashboard with 20 swaps that are all better than this one."

I would join this swap but I so happy with KraftyKaren 06/21/2013 # Kitty porn that I am good for some time. Thanks.

I would join this swap but I have to agree with CAPI, why were we not informed of rounds 1-4 of this swaps. Are you playing favorites?

I would join this swap if you could just make a type 3. Cause I need more type 3s. Plus really the whole thing is pretty crafty, and involves some imagination.

I would join this swap if you would agree to make it 20 partners, I sure could use 20 hearts. You do plan to give me a heart right? I mean I did type some words and I thought happy thoughts.

Marco!

Polo!

I would join this swap, but I see you discriminate against those who can't e-mail in time. Jeez, we aren't all attached to our computers!

I also won't join if they're are anee mispellings. Pleez tell me their won't be any.

Also, you should angel this swap. If I don't get a comment, I will be very upset. Like, Hulk smash upset. I mean, I'm only in this for the stuff.

And for all the photos that have been posted; I'm not joining until those are gone.

Ugh, only two days for a comment? Can we be more realistic, some of us have lives, you know.

I would join this swap if you would allow me to photoshop the eyebrows on my cat. Mozzie is just too feisty to let me draw eyebrows on, and the emergency room is really tired of seeing me, a cat bite would be the last straw.

If I used Photoshop, they'd at least be even. I can't even apply my eyeliner evenly, how on earth am I supposed to apply cat eyebrows smoothly? This is a tougher swap than the one I joined that required me to paint him like a pumpkin. My walls still aren't clean from that one.

I'm going to ban all the members of this swap just before I assign partners. Including myself. I'm going to ban myself from all my future swaps.

I keep waiting to see a beach ball bounce across this swap. It feels like a music festival in here.

i'd join this swap, but i'm afraid of beachballs

How do I rate if I get a comment that looks like it was made by someone other than my partner? Is there a rule about swapping recycled comments?

marco

mmmmm...pizza.

polo

i'd join this swap, but the cops are at my door and they're coming to take me away, ha-haa

@KraftyKaren Dewey

"I'm Happy They Took You Away, Ha-Haaa!" was recorded by a female performer billed as Josephine XV, and was the closing track on Side Two of the 1966 Warner Bros. album. Josephine was the name of a spouse of the French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, hence the connection.-wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They%27reComingtoTakeMeAway,Ha-Haaa!

I would join this swap but I can't because it had partner sign ups after the summer solstice and that is just a bad way to start the season. What were you thinking????

I would join this swap, but there aren't any gifs in the comments.

also, I would join this swap if my gif worked in the comments. waaaaahhhhh.

I would join this swap if I thought I'd get something I'd actually like. (I actually wait for 'get rid of your junk stash swaps'.)

I would join this electronic swap if someone would post a three prong grounded outlet. Like, 'Hellooo'..! where are we supposed to plug in to? :P

Wow, only six of us have clicked Sent? Click the button already! lol

I would join this swap but it sounds kind of boring!

Excuse me, I would have joined but I rated all my partners already, and I'll be smooten if NOT one of you meanys has rated me yet. I am going to complain to admit that you are non raters.

I got an international partner can I drop out or get the hostess to angel for me? I am a really good swapper honest but I spend my eletronic budget on eyeliner to help homeless eyebrow less dogs and cats.

I would join this swap but I don't like people who join this type of swap! XD

I would join this swap but the directions are way to confusing for me I don't get what we're supposed to do.

I would have joined this swap but there were too many comments.

I would have joined the swap but the "Join this swap" link is gone for some reason... could you put it back, please? Signed, Confused in Kentucky

I would join this swap but I have to find out who broke into my house and took a picture of my front door

I would have joined the swap if only I had found it earlier!! Why was the sign up date a few days ago, when I wanted it to be tomorrow?? Now I couldn't join the swap and it is all of yours fault!

(Man, this feel weird, I'm not in the swap either, just wanted to get some frustration out) :P

I would not have joined this swap had I known that your gift would have melted in my mailbox. Please resend. It is 109 here today. Didnt you read my profile about not sending things that would melt?

@user8179 *

@kristincali Dewey who?

Marco

polo

you assed the artners and i can't drop out of the swap. what were you thinking?!? now i have to flake on my partners and it's all your fault missy

I would join this swap if we all had to post photos of animals stuck in things... I have a cow in a toilet photo somewhere, I swear.

I would join this swap but you assigned partners too late and now my sent date isn't gonna be the same as the "click here when sent" date and I'll probably get a lower rating for that.

I would join this swap if you had already created round 6. Seriously what's up with that?!

We had to click sent??! Awful. Swap-bot is full of nothing but bullies. I'm quitting.

Should the swap host get a star??!?! HELL no. What did she do? Let 84 flakers in probably ;)

@KraftyKaren Dewey love SwapBot or what!!

That was probably so stupid haha I made it up

I would join this swap but its too time consuming!

you beasts made me come back to finish reading the comments after i didn't send any in the first place. shame on you

I would only join if people gave hearts and 5's but I see that some people do not give hearts and 5's...why not??? and this is why I shouldn't have joined this swap! ;)

@Tia I thought my comments were super clever! Nobody liked my knock knock joke?? I only got 1 heart, booo! Next time the swap coordinator should ignore the rules and force people to give hearts ;D

@KristinCali I've seen a coordinator who puts that in her swaps... "MUST RATE WITH 5 + HEART!"

Well, now the whole thing is over and I didn't get enough of a chance to think about it before partners were assigned...so I'm just saying early, I won't join Round 6 just for good measure.

This was so fun, and I had fun leaving rude comments about my swap melting in my mailbox. The best response was, I am sorry nice time I will send my comments on ICE>

I started a swap called Silly Small Secrets Swap kinda based on this idea.

http://www.swap-bot.com/swap/show/151995#comment-543168

WHY, you little so-and-so!!! The NERVE!!!!! -- Having another one of these swaps and not informing ME (after all the fun I've had, too!)

Nonetheless, I have every right to hold a grudge and that is just what I am going to do.

After I hit every single forum I can find and whine as loud as I can besmirching you, I am then going to report you to Rachel Johnson, to her mother, to her brother, to her husband and his cousins, and anyone else I can think of -- she is going to put YOU on double-secret probation for this, I can feel it coming.

Then we'll see who has fun swaps, missy!!!